assumption is never good...for me

I always find myself assuming and most of the times, it just land me hard on my butt.
A crashing pain in my heart is left.
That's why I always tell myself to avoid doing that.
And so, I am trying.
When I feel that I'm prone to wander and start imagining what-could-have-been, I stopped myself.
But I guess it's a habit.
I can't help but wish, silently wish that maybe, someone can like me.
Yes, I am always assuming that a person likes me.
And as it progresses, I ended up liking that person or worst, even falling for that person.
It happened to me twice and I ended up with a broken heart.
I am at fault anyway.
Maybe this is a sign of losing confidence, lacking assurance in myself or hopelessly dreaming that one day, someone will come to me and blurt out his feelings.
But it never did, so I slept at night with the mere thought on my head.

And now, I think I am in the phase of assuming, a very deadly step on the way.
I don't want to do it.
It was just a spur of the moment, the contact and it just happened.
I became too much conscious, I don't know why.
I know there's nothing anyway, who will like me anyway?
I have been 'just a friend' or at times, just someone to laugh out or laugh at.
I was never taken seriously.
That's what the single spirit in me really despises.

WHAT I THINK OF HIM

I sometimes notice him.
I sometimes don't.
When I glance at him, I sometimes stare.
When he glances at me, I just stare then look away.
At times he talks to me, I smile stupidly.
At times I talk to him, with just few words I can count.
We're not that close, I don't sit beside him.
We're not that far, we're in the same room.
I don't think of him every second of the day.
I think of him once in a while.
His glances make me wary.
His conversations make me funny.
I don't know what to feel.
I don't know how to feel.
Maybe I'm just overreacting.
Everything of what I think of him.

I like you?

I THINK I am "liking" someone.
Seriously.
I think it is okay, but I tend to over-analyze things which is not a good thing.
I always end up butt-faced on the floor.
Plus, a fracture in the heart.
Going back to the main issue, he is NOT my type of guy.
He does not look manly and I kind of sees him as a "gay", although he is not a "very obvious" gay, if he is one.
He just strikes me.
Weird.
So, whatever happens next.
I'll see about it.